The Quibbler Volume 1
by selemi
Summary: aka... the random out spurts of a bored author. Contains articles that pertain to fanfiction, , harry potter paraphernalia, and other random Harry Potter stuff. If "random" was a genre of writing, this would probably fit it.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey this is something I came up with from my failed attempt of Ask Harry. I thought it'd be interesting to try writing the Quibbler magazine. Of course I'm no Xenophilius Lovegood, but I can try, right? Constructive criticism appreciated as always. This is different from other Quibbler fanfictions as it relates to fanfiction and less on the content the Quibbler might contain in the Harry Potter World.

**The Quibbler Fanfiction Edition Volume 1 (aka: The Random Out Spurts of a bored writer) **

Table of Contents:

Draco and Hermione: Are they really meant to be? Ch 2

Pairing Names That Really Shouldn't Be Used Ch 3

Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris: Will Hermione approve? Ch 4

Where's Waldo, I mean, Walden Ch 5

Ask Luna-you know you want to :D Ch 6

Letter by the Editor

* * *

A/N: Please note that "Letter by the Editor" is NOT one long boring author's note.

R&R


	2. Chapter 2

**Draco and Hermione: Are they really meant to be?**

There's nothing more satisfying than forbidden love. And as far as straight pairings go, Draco and Hermione (from now on referred to as Dramione) is roughly twice as popular as Draco and Ginny. But are they really meant to be? There are an infinite number of reasons why Draco hates Hermione.

1. She's a muggle-born witch.  
2. She's an insufferable know it all and first in their year.  
3. She's too infatuated with Ron.  
4. She's a Gryffindor. Automatically Goody-goody.

And so on and so on. There are also many reasons Hermione has to hate Draco.

1. He's the son of a Death Eater.  
2. He's second in their year-he obviously cheated in some way!  
3. He's too infatuated with Pansy.  
4. He's a Slytherin. Automatically Evil.

But if you'll notice, there are also some "facts" that cannot be ignored.

1. Opposites attract.  
2. There is a _very _thin line between love and hate.  
3. Being Slytherin doesn't make you evil. Exhibit A: Severus Snape.  
4. Being a Gryffindor doesn't make you goody-goody. Exhibit B: Peter Pettigrew.

With fact 1, we've negated Draco's and Hermione 1st reason to hate each other. With facts 3 and 4, we've negated Draco and Hermione's 4th reason to hate each other. And if you'll notice, reason 2 for Draco and Hermione can be viewed as a reason to love than hate. The two can obviously hold very intelligent conversations filled with witty remarks and playful banter. So reason 2 is actually a reason to be together, not hate. Reason 3 is something that is debatable depending on the year and time. So for argumentative purposes, reason 3 is irrelevant.

There is a long list of reasons why Dramione should happen and following are only a few.

1. It would make Ron drop dead with shock. (Possibly Harry, too.)  
2. It promotes House Unity and we all love House Unity.  
3. Many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many people find that Ron is not worthy of Hermione.  
4. The canon marriage between Draco and Astoria seems so random.

There are currently no comments by Draco Malfoy or Hermione Granger.

A/N: For those who dislike -cough- -cough- Draco x Hermione with a passion -hint- -hint- , there is probably NOTHING that will change your mind. Unless you read a heart-warming (or breaking) story with them and realize your way is just WRONG! -ahem- -ahem- I think you might find something like that in one of my stories. Reviews appreciated! (I'd ask for constructive criticism, but that only applies when the fic is constructive and not a random sting of words :D )


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know that everyone has their own opinions so please don't flame me for disagreeing. I personally don't think these names shouldn't be used; they just confuse me

**Pairing Names That Really Shouldn't Be Used (Interesting Pairing Names)**

This article isn't about bad pairings. Its about pairings that have names that, as the tile suggests, really shouldn't be used. It also includes pairing names that are unsatisfactory and could do with some changes. Pairing names that are interesting or for obscure pairs are mentioned. Not all are mentioned so if our beloved readers (this means you) are dissatisfied with the list provided, suggestions to the Editor Luna is NOT going to make her cry, so please don't hesitate.

Het Pairings:

Harry/Ginny  
= Hinny -Fortunately, not many people use this. Doesn't it sound like Winnie the Pooh? And how he spells "honey" as "hunny" which is only one vowel away from "Hinny". No? Never mind then.  
= Gary -Has fewer users than "Hinny".  
= Orange Crush -Couldn't this be used for any Weasley?

Hermione/Ron  
= Heron -This is definitely a _bird_. "Good Ship" is understandable to an extent but _Heron_?

Hermione/Harry  
=Pumpkin Pie -This doesn't even make sense. Why pumpkin? A more popular name for this ship is _Harmony... _by 88+ fanfics.

Hermione/Draco  
= Leather and Libraries -There has been only four records of this being used in . The "libraries" part makes sense but "leather" doesn't. Does Draco even wear leather? Is it even possible to wear leather at Hogwarts, what with the uniform and all? Wouldn't leather robes be the weirdest thing in the world? A more popular term is _Dramione. _(A/N: I would discuss this but since I write Dramione, its not going to happen. Unless you want me to write about how awesome it is.)

Hermione/Snape  
=Snermione -There are only two records of this. Doesn't it sound like something really disgusting and gooey that probably glows in the dark and is only spoken of during Halloween? "Buy your snermione today! Supplies Limited."

Draco/Ginny _There aren't that many names for this couple. The most common one is "Fire and Ice" and there's nothing unreasonable about that. _

Slash Pairings:

Harry/Ron  
=Candyshipping -For those familiar with Shirley Temple... The Good Ship Lollipop song sung by her is perfect for this. Or no, it could be for a Hermione/Ron/Harry a combination of Good Ship from Hermione/Ron and Candyshipping form Harry/Ron.

Draco/Harry  
=Drarry -Its understandable as to where this is coming from but something different would be nice. At least no one is using "Hraco". How would one even pronounce that?

Harry/Snape  
=Snarry -Again understandable but doesn't it sound like snare-y. Like a trap? That Snape is snaring Harry!

Remus/Sirius  
=Puppies -Its hard to find the number of stories with this. But its still strange. Understandable to a point... but strange... Is it implying something? Werewolf-Black Dog cross breeding? -Shudders- Another one is "Wolfstar". That one is quite nice. A play-on of Sirius, the dog constellation and Remus the Werewolf.

Draco/Snape  
=Snaco -This definitely sounds like a company or brand name. Snaco Petroleum-One stop for gas and food.

Snape/Lupin  
=Snupin -This definitely sounds like a verb tense of "snoop". Like "I was _snupin_ around..."

Snape/Sirius  
=Snack -Enough said. There are 15 stories on with this. Snack... _really?_ Are they going to EAT each other? This is so random!

Albus(Dumbledore)/Gellert(Grindelwald)  
=Grindeldore -Doesn't it sound like a mathematician or scientist? "Okay class, we'll be studying Grindeldore's Theory..."

Fred/Geore  
=Twincest -This one is actually clever and we just had to throw it in there.

Draco/Lucius  
=Malfoycest -It was funny the first time... Malfoycest sounds like a bad copy of twincest.

Regulas(Black)/Sirius(Black)  
=Blackcest -This is definitely annoying... It must be a series thing...

Bill(Weasley)/Charlie(Weasley)  
=Weasleycest -Yup you guessed it, _Weasleycest_, its definitely a series thing.

Lucius/Snape  
=Snucius - Snooze-ius. Maybe Snape only talks about potions and puts Lucius to sleep? Or perhaps being Death Eaters, there's not many options to sleeping and they get it when they can?

We, the staff at Quibbler, hope you enjoyed this random and pointless bit of writing. Cheers!

A/N: I hope no one thinks I'm trying to write a humorous piece, because I'm not. Its just random. Enough said. Review! (Reviews can be random too in the spirit of things!)


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